Things I Learned in Public High School

I learned that punishment for skipping two weeks in a row of senior year, is 30 minutes in the principles office talking about his Illinois childhood.

I learned never to use sewing scissors to cut paper or materials other than fabric or thread.

I learned as a freshman that in order to get the senior jocks to pay attention to me, I had to spend twenty minutes massaging their shoulders in geography class every day.

I learned that wearing the wrong combination of colors can get you sent home.

I learned that swim class turns pretty blonde hair, green.

I learned that in the midwest, the guys who really know how to party are the ones who drive farm trucks and tractors to school.

I learned that there is no substitute for a great teacher, and that there are too few of them.

I learned that I was being suffocated for every second spent inside the institution that provided me with an education.

I learned that writing and drawing instead of doing homework helped me breathe again.