Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Soul Saved and Living : Any Time

Happy is he who still loves something he loved in the nursery: He has not been broken in two by time; he is not two men, but one, and he has saved not only his soul but his life.
-Gilbert K. Chesterton

Still picking up the pieces from August ... wondering how the 3 1/2 years previous had slip-knotted themselves around my throat and held me to the floor while I lay alone grasping for air. I'm perceiving my current life as a mistakenly placed game piece, or just an altogether abandoned board game, laid out and ready for the players to take action, fulfill their course, shoot for something worth their time.

I'm excited more than words that I'm alive, there is a relationship I've been cultivating with the life around me, that puts me at peace and ease. Yet a yearning that runs too deep for comfort, will afford me inaction no longer.

Thanks enough for the lessons and hardships of those times, and of any demon from childhood that stood in my way, disregarding my divinity, my power. They stood there to show me that as I'm getting older, I'm not distancing myself from them, I AM them. From all of the times they tortured me in dreams and life, while in the darkness of night, I see them more clearly as I see myself as a potent and daring soul. With the ability to create and destroy, love and despise, plant a flower and watch it grow and bottle an insect to watch it die. I am the choice of what I have been given. An experiment, a computation. The monitor is quick to judge what experiences have to offer, but the code is there ingrained in me, impossible to mismanage. I am the choice of a series of numbers the universe wants me to explore, and it is time.

The New Year is welcomed in by everyone in celebration. I look presently at the new day that approaches, and see it as the stepping stone to destiny.

I refuse to say 'goodbye' to 2008. Or any other year.

Nothing has come to a close, or an end. If I'm the only one on a continuous supra-dimensional route to eternal life, so be it. Everyone else can sort out their lives, year by year. Recounting and ruminating. It's too exhausting for me, and I won't do it. I live in a bubble of wonder and bathe in its chaos. If something is good enough to be real, then it's good enough for me. As is. Bring it on. I'll twist it into something more interesting and mystical ... guaranteed.

No comments: